


After the Game

by violetPrimrose



Category: Homestuck
Genre: I'msobadattagging, More to come?? - Freeform, Nepeta is dealing with issues, Other, Sad, Sad sad sad, Stitches, Strong Nep, after SBURB, bad times, kind of.., self hate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-12
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-09-08 05:13:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8831779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violetPrimrose/pseuds/violetPrimrose
Summary: Why are you trying? You can’t walk to the bathroom, let alone save yourself… or someone else. You failed. You couldn’t save him.. Why’d you try?A repetition no one wants to hear.. but Nepeta comes back.. she knows she can do anything..





	

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if this sucks!! It's my first really sad one!!

I’m not alone and I’m not tired.  
  
I’m not alone and I’m not tired..  
  
It kept repeating in my mind as I glanced around my can house, hands fidgeting and messing with the edge of my blanket. Late at night and tired as heck, I sat in bed all alone. This isn’t how I usually am.. I’m never exhausted.. I’m normally happy and laughing and excited, but after coming back… I can’t seem to sleep anymore and it’s really time to admit...  
  
I’m definitely alone and I’m tired…  
  
As I sat up my head began to spin, body aching slightly at the weight of my torso sitting over my legs. It never occurred to me that it would hurt to move after stitches. That would definitely end up putting a damper on my play time with Equius later. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind just sitting for awhile though.. It’s never bothered him before…  
  
Slowly, I dragged myself up off my bed. My limbs felt like jello as my feet hit the cold tiled floor. Well, this was going to be a very interesting day. I was back.. Back again… and of course, I was tired, I was grumpy, I was…. I was not myself..  
  
“Nepeta..” I whispered my name as I stood up on my noodle like legs, dragging myself further and further from the bed. “Kanaya told you not to walk… She told you… what are you doing?” More little whispers scattered throughout my mind as I scuffed across the floor. “Your stitches will get loose. You’ll get hurt. You can’t do this. Why are you trying? You can’t walk to the bathroom, let alone save yourself… or someone else. You failed. You couldn’t save him.. Why’d you try?”  
  
I forced back tears, eyes turning a slightly greenish color as they filled with tears. But no… My cheeks would not allow any to fall. I was a fighter. I had made it this far. “I’m strong!” I practically yelled as I took a few more steps forwards “I’m stronger than everyone! I’m stronger than Equius..” Never had I acted this way.  
  
The images of Equius lying on the floor came back to my mind. His bow wrapped about his neck and the clown standing over him. My blood began to boil at the thought.  
  
I let him do that.. I didn’t stay by Equius like I so pleaded to do. This wasn’t fair.. Why was I so naive. I’m NOT a little kitten! I should have tried harder!  
  
Tears began to tear green streaks down my face as I grabbed the bathroom counter and entered the room. Light headed and tired, leaned on the counter. Slowly picking my head up, I looked in the mirror. My eyes showed every sign of little sleep and my skin looked sunken. “I am strong..” I whispered to myself in the mirror.  
  
I had to prove it.. I needed to show I was strong. Needed to be like Equius..  
  
And that was exactly what I did.  
  
I pulled myself up to full height, my body shaking only a little, and wiped my eyes. No more crying.. Crying is for little girls. Then slowly, I slid my shirt up over my head, a slight sting going through me as my hands brushed over where I’d been hurt.  
  
It wasn’t near as bad as I thought it could be.. There was an obvious breakage of skin which was now stitched over, and a bruise surrounding it, but over all.. It wasn’t near as bad as it could have been.  
  
I smiled a little. “Just proves how tough I am!” Now i’d have a nice scar to show off to Equius later! He’d think it’s super tough.. Especially on a little girl like me..  
  
I looked myself over again in the mirror, noting my small frame..  
  
Thin, short, small chested… not even a decently sized butt to make up for it…  
  
Sighing, I tied my hair up and pulled out a bag from my bathroom cupboard.  
  
I’m strong and i’m independent. I’m tough and I’m mean. I don’t need someone to take care of me and I don’t want some one to.  
  
My hands worked swiftly doing my makeup as nicely as I could. It’d definitely been awhile since I had done anything like this. Equius never let me and in the dream bubbles I was lucky if I came across anything as decent as an empty mascara tube. So having Kanaya bring me so much of it was a shock. But what I was capable of would do the trick.  
  
I wrapped gauze about my waist and stumbled to my closet. There was a party at Dave’s tonight. Equius made me stay home.. Told me to rest. But no way in hell was I missing it. I slid on my dress that Kanaya had made me and twirled a little. I was having a fun night..  
  
Because I’m strong  
  
Because i’m independent.  
  
I can do this  
  
Slowly, I walked out of my house and started heading for Dave’s a few houses down. This was crazy if I was being completely honest with myself. I’d only been back for a matter of hours. My body was still healing, and i was out and about wandering my way to a party I was told not to attend. I felt purrfect!!  
  
It wasn’t long before I’d reached Dave’s door…  
  
Slowly I moved my hands to knock  
  
I am strong.  
  
I am independent.  
  
I am not a kitten.  
  
I can do this….

**Author's Note:**

> I'm debating on continuing with this story.. feel free to comment if you think i should continue or any ideas you have for a potential continuation.. Thanks a million guys!! <3 :3


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